With My Soul Read online

  “Wait a minute. I didn’t agree to this. I can’t just leave listening devices in people’s offices.” Bryce brought the half sphere close to his eye, listened to it. Shook it. The technology was nothing he was familiar with, and he built his own computer last year with his dad.

  “Mr. Kendall is urgently working on your father’s disappearance. It is the least you can do after everything he’s done for you.” Barb’s perfectly manicured eyebrows knit together in just such a way that her disappointment seemed so much greater than a regular woman’s unhappiness.

  “I’m sorry. This spy business isn’t really my thing,” Bryce felt his face grow hot. He felt...scolded. Even still, he didn’t trust Kendall, and he sure as hell didn’t trust Barb.

  He shoved the piece of technology into his pocket. Bryce assumed it was a tracker as well as a listening device. He didn’t want it anywhere near his home. Home. That was weird. It was the first time he had actually thought about the apartment he shared with Gail in that way.

  No. He would not take a problem like that there. Bryce went to the beach. He walked along the sand and tried to think of a solution. Kendall said he’d help find Bryce’s father. But the cost was to betray a guy that Bryce liked, someone who could be a possible friend.

  He returned to the apartment with no idea what to do. He left the listening device in his car. It would stay there until he made a decision.

  Gail was at class and the apartment seemed quiet. Grabbing the phone, Bryce called Sven’s number. Sven answered.

  “Hey, it’s Bryce. I was just wondering if you had any news on my dad or the college student that was kidnapped?”

  “She’s safe. No word on your dad. I’m sorry. We’re heading back to Spokane for a few weeks. We will have people looking here, but too much is happening on the west coast. There is rumbling of trouble. Do you want to return with us?”

  “No way. I’m staying until I find Dad. I need some advice,” Bryce paced the room, the cord limiting his movement to a tiny square.

  “What kind of advice?”

  “Do you know the IT kid who works for McFarland? His name is Lucas.” Bryce asked.

  “I’ve run into him a time or two,” Sven said. Which meant he probably didn’t really know him at all, but since Bryce hadn’t give a last name, he at least knew of him.

  “Who would you trust more, Lucas or Vice President Kendall?”

  Bryce could hear a long sigh coming from the receiver as Sven said, “If it comes to finding your dad, I doubt either will help you. Lucas is a good kid, but if McFarland is involved, he wouldn’t share any important information with Lucas. Kendall is bad news all around. I’d avoid him like the plague.”

  “It’s too late for that. Kendall wants me to plant a listening device on Lucas. He said he will help me find my dad if I help him with Lucas. I met the guy, and I like him. I don’t want to spy on a potential friend.” Bryce bit his upper lip and waited. He hadn’t meant to divulge his bargain with Kendall. He was a terrible spy...and a worse liar. Hopefully Kendall wouldn’t find that out, like...ever.

  “I will tell you this. Some actions can’t be taken back. Once you plant that listening device on Lucas, he will no longer be a friend. He will no longer be a possible friend. He’ll be a target. You will never be able to let your guard down around him. Get to know him better before you do anything.”

  “Okay. Please call me if you find anything about my dad or anything related.”

  Bryce hung up the phone feeling disappointed.

  Chapter 6

  ~~ 3 MONTHS LATER – AUGUST 1998~~

  There had been no further progress on Bryce’s father, Tom. Bryce got a job with the hotel working five to one-thirty. No one knew anything about a kidnapping. A few of the other employees shushed him, warning him that the tips were bigger when they didn’t ask questions. The employees that could keep their mouths shut got the special assignments.

  He still met with Lucas every Friday but left the listening device in the trunk of his car. So far, no one had asked for it. Three months and Bryce had hit a wall, both in terms of finding his dad and his friendship with Gail. His attraction to her had grown stronger with each passing week. Meanwhile, she thought of him as a roommate.

  Tonight he planned to woo his roommate.

  His first stop was the grocery store on the way home. Gail would be home at six tonight, her summer job keeping her late. By now Bryce had a good idea of Gail’s favorites. She loved lasagna and spaghetti. Bryce bought everything he would need for homemade lasagna, including a loaf of French bread and red wine.

  Cooking relaxed Bryce. He woke up in the evenings in time to start the hamburger before Gail got home. He was wasting his life at the hotel. Not a single piece of useful information had been gathered from his months of working there. He had finally discovered the room where he’d been held, cleaning it after a party that left the room trashed. There was no sign that his dad had ever been there. So that was a dead end. At least his bank account was holding steady.

  As for the university, he had applied and been accepted as a student over the summer. Classes would start in a few weeks. He caught a half-tuition scholarship.

  Guilt consumed him. While he chopped onions and green peppers into tiny chunks, he thought about the time his Dad had helped him build a model boat with a million tiny wood pieces. They had started the project on an old card table in the basement and worked on it for over a year. All these months later, and Bryce had no idea where to look for his dad. His dad wouldn’t let him give up on that ship. Now he wouldn’t give up on his dad.

  Bryce feared that Tom Langden was dead. And there was no way to prove it. For sure his mom was a basket case, and on the last call begged Bryce to come home. It was one thing to lose a husband, but now she felt like she’d lost a husband and a son. Bryce didn’t have the heart to tell her that Miami was home now.

  The lasagna was thirty minutes in the oven when Gail pushed open the door. The minute she smelled his cooking, a huge grin lit across her face, “That smells divine. Do I have time for a shower?”

  Gail always took a shower after work. Bryce had learned to account for that extra half-hour when he cooked dinner. “Forty-five minutes.”

  She disappeared into the bathroom with her hands full of pajama bottoms, t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. Bryce expelled a breath when the door closed. He still hadn’t figured out the right words to say, the ones that would lead them from roommates to something more.

  He cut slices of bread, spreading butter and parmesan cheese while he practiced, by mumbling the words he wanted to use, Would you consider dating me? Would you like to go out? Have you ever thought you might want more? Coward that he was, the semblance of those words in one form or another had been rumbling around his brain for the past two months.

  This time was different in one regard. Bryce was going to say something, whether it meant moving somewhere else for the beginning of the school year or starting a new relationship. Something had to change. Bryce’s attraction grew with every passing day, and he thought maybe Gail shared it as well.

  The table was set and the wine poured when Gail came out of the bathroom. Bryce was lifting the foil from the lasagna. Gail said, “You look so serious.”

  “We are talking food here.” Bryce wished he could be the kind of brave person who said what he meant. His days with Gail grew more complex and harder to deal with. And yet, he still hadn’t told her the truth, that he was falling in love with her.

  “There’s something else. Please tell me.” Gail said. She sank into the chair where she normally studied and took a sip of wine.

  Bryce froze. This moment was the whole purpose of lasagna night. Heck, it was the whole purpose of every single thing he’d done since the day he met Gail. But the longer he put it off, the harder it was to admit that he had feelings for her. After getting shot down twice, asking again was next to impossible.

  Finally, he took a gulp of wine and said, “I’m attracted to you. I want t
o ask you out on a date or something, but I don’t even know if you like me that way, and I’m afraid that I just killed our cool roommate vibe.”

  His stomach felt like he had plunged into the Arctic and swallowed a gallon of ice water. Gail wasn’t giving off any signal he could read. She just swooshed her wine in little circles with a furrow in her brow before she took another sip. He wanted to yell, Answer the question! Then he realized he hadn’t even asked anything.

  She said, “I’ve started having feelings for you, too. You understand that I can’t relax. I can’t slow down. I barely passed Cellular Biology last semester. If we date, I have to stay vigilant with my studies.”

  Bryce’s dad had once told him that he shouldn’t get physical with a girl until his emotions caught up with his penis. Until this moment, Bryce thought the advice sappy and useless. He had a healthy male’s sex drive, and it was hard enough just asking a girl on a date. Now, he understood. This time his heart was all-in. Physical Attraction. Check. Emotional Attraction. Yes. Intellect. Wit. Compassion. All there.

  “I promise to be a help in that area, never a hindrance,” He held out his hand, palm open and welcome. He thought his heart would stop while he waited for Gail to decide.

  She slid her hand in his. He swallowed once and lifted to kiss it. So cheesy. But her eyes widened just that little bit, and a smile played on her lips.

  He continued, “I will support your dream. I’ll be your biggest cheerleader and chief butt-kicker if you start slacking. Let’s do this as a team, and we’ll see how far we can go,” Bryce captured Gail’s fingers in his own, not tightly, his was a gentle hold.

  The timer to the lasagna beeped.

  Gail giggled. This was not a polite te-he, but the kind of giggle that might turn into a deep belly-laugh. It gave Bryce a sense of the absurd, the idea that maybe she was laughing at him more than the terrible timing of the timer. He flushed, certain that even his freckles were hidden behind the sudden influx of color to his face.

  “Excuse me.” Bryce jumped up and turned off the timer.

  OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS Gail had slowly warmed up to Bryce, and in the past few weeks had considered him more than a roommate. He seemed like a husband, only without the intimacy. She found herself wondering sometimes what it might feel like to hold his hand or cuddle with him while they watched movies. He took such great care of her. She wondered what it would be like if they were really together.

  She felt that flutter deep inside when he said something protective or brought her snacks. When Bryce took her hand, Gail felt tingles in her stomach. The timer startled her and the timing relative to their discussion gave a perfect sense of the absurd. She laughed. For the first time since she started college, Gail wanted a relationship, maybe not more than she wanted a cure for Jana’s blindness, but Bryce brought an added dimension to her life. Somehow everything made more sense.

  Bryce grabbed Gail’s dairy cow potholders and pulled out his fantastic lasagna. He was flushed. Gail felt bad for embarrassing him, but the moment had just struck her. He set the lasagna on a cooling rack and moved the shelves of the oven up. Switching it to broil, he slid in the bread.

  While Bryce watched the bread, Gail watched him. He was embarrassed by the timer, his own rhythm blown apart by the interruption, and Gail felt a little mean for watching his discomfort. She wanted to see what he would say, how he would start the conversation again.

  It occurred to her that it had taken three months for him to get this far. It looked like he was going to put all of his nervous energy into dinner and forget that they had ever started a conversation about their relationship. She rescued him when he pulled perfectly broiled cheesy bread out of the oven. She said, “Let’s make tonight a date night. We’ll watch a movie after dinner?”

  “A real date?” Bryce pulled a pair of plates out of Gail’s cupboard. Since he moved in, he had gotten really handy in the kitchen.

  “What do you mean by a real date?” Gail asked. It seemed to her that a date was a date. How could it be ‘unreal’?

  “Can I kiss you?” Bryce needed some work with his wooing skills, but Gail couldn’t help grinning.

  She said, “You have to work your way up to it. We’ll hold hands first, and maybe you’ll slide closer...and then closer. You’ll put an arm around me. We won’t be hungry this time, but with a future date, we could share a popcorn bowl,” Gail teased. She hadn’t realized how serious her life had become. The idea of holding Bryce’s hand, of kissing him, brightened her whole outlook.

  “I’m looking forward to it,” Bryce said.

  Dinner was perfect. Gail couldn’t have asked for a better companion, and the food was delicious. After dinner they washed dishes together, Gail collecting the glasses and plates for Bryce who scrubbed them.

  When they settled on the couch to watch Mrs. Doubtfire on video, Gail’s heart raced with anticipation. She sat on one end of the couch. Bryce sat on the other. The opening credits had just started, and Gail bit her lip trying to think of a way to get Bryce closer to her side. She couldn’t just jump him. Well, she could, but that wouldn’t be a lady-like way to proceed on their first date.

  Gail was used to sitting with her legs curled toward the middle of the couch while Bryce usually sat in the arm chair. This was new to both of them. She slid to the middle of the couch, closer to Bryce. Her eyebrows lifted in a gesture of invitation.

  Bryce met her in the middle. He leaned forward, kissing her on the nose.

  That was not what Gail wanted. He was moving slow. Too slow. She’d been living with him for three months already. They knew each other’s routines. He had even heard her fart. He knew her worst. Why was he going so slow now?

  Because I told him too. Grrr. Gail couldn’t wait any longer.

  She wrapped her arms around him and swooped in for a real kiss.

  That was when she learned that her roommate had more talent than just cooking. He was a great kisser. Once he realized she was one hundred percent on board with this whole roommate turned girlfriend thing, his tongue teased hers. His hands slowly settled on Gail’s waist. They felt warm.

  Bryce stopped kissing her long enough to murmur against her mouth, “If you want to stop at any time, tell me. I’ve wanted to kiss you from the day we met.”

  “Don’t stop. I’m on the pill, and I’m ready for this.”

  “You’re an angel,” Bryce said.

  Gail didn’t exactly hear the Hallelujah chorus, but something was singing inside. They kissed even more deeply, and then Gail was tugging at Bryce’s t-shirt and he was lifting her sweatshirt. She hoped he liked her boobs. As a size B she wasn’t ginormous like some of her friends.

  When the t-shirt came off and he leaned down to take one in his mouth, she figured he must like them just fine. His voice was muffled when he said, “God, you’re so beautiful.”

  Gail couldn’t believe she was doing this. It was the first date. The first date! But there had been so many little moments when Bryce melted her heart. She was more than ready. The whole moment felt right.

  If she thought she would be shy with him, Bryce cuddled and touched her in ways that made her feel safe. Then he went further, touching her in the secret places. He rubbed her body, bringing her to the edge of climax. His staff was long and ready. Gail hoped it would fit. She hadn’t had sex in years. She pulled him toward her, saying, “I’m ready.”

  The couch provided a supreme intimacy. His body, tight and muscular, met hers. His mouth, warm and welcoming, descended and captured her own briefly before he descended on her, claiming Gail as his own.

  He exploded inside her, pumping until he’d given her everything. With a deep baritone, Bryce said, “You are so amazing.”

  Gail felt it.

  That thing that women feel when the right man claims them. Love was too pale a word for the vivid depths in her soul. When Bryce called her amazing, it was true. When he called her beautiful, she felt it.

  He made her more than she could be on her
own. That was the truth of love, and Gail’s epiphany was that this was the first time she had ever experienced it. The guys before hadn’t loved her. They’d loved themselves and used her body as a playground, but this man cared for her.

  Then Gail came to a deeper realization. She loved him.

  What in the name of all heavens would she do about it? She’d only known the man for three months.

  Chapter 7

  BRYCE HAD HIT A THOUSAND dead ends looking for his father. The latest was a phone call from Sven. Still nothing on his end. It was Monday again, and Bryce was back talking to Barb when Kendall strolled out of his office. He said, “Bryce, come on in for a second.”

  Crap. This was not in the game plan. Bryce worked nights at the hotel and needed to get home and get to sleep. He followed VP Kendall into his office and wondered what new task he’d be given.

  “You still haven’t placed the listening device in Lucas’ office.” Kendall opened on a hard punch.

  Lucas felt his face go warm. It betrayed him every time. “No. There hasn’t been a good moment.”

  “Get it done this Friday or I’m done helping you,” Kendall stared at Bryce over his glasses, as if his laser eyes could kill with a wish.

  “To be fair, you haven’t helped me at all with my dad. He’s still missing, and you haven’t found anything.” Bryce wasn’t much of a negotiator, but he wasn’t a pushover either. Kendall had used him about as much as Bryce was willing to be used.

  “Your dad is alive. That’s all I can tell you. Get that listening device put in Lucas’ office by Friday. I’m not asking. I’m telling.”

  Bryce wondered if Kendall had kids. His dad had tried this very line of reasoning before with Bryce. It didn’t go over very well, but his dad could make him do stuff. Kendall couldn’t. Kendall had seriously hit all of the wrong buttons.

  “Fine. Friday it is. Anything else?” Bryce’s lips were pressed together in a thin line.